I just want to know why haven’t you talked to me for the past 2 weeks. You know that I was ignoring you and you knew I was upset about me. Yet you didn’t try even once to get my attention or text me or mind asking me what’s wrong. Maybe this was a sign from god telling me that you aren’t worth my time and never will be. Like.. WHY won’t you speak to me unless I speak to you. You’ve been playing “hard to get” for weeks now and I can’t tell if we’re more than friends or if we’re even friends to be honest. I’m just really confused as to where we stand, what are we? We walk by each other every single day without saying a word and acting like the other doesn’t exist. What kind of life is that? I fell for you and when i did you let me fall, then you just… disappeared. Where does that leave me? What am I supposed to think? I can’t continue to pretend like I’m over your and over this whole thing because god fucking damn it I am not ok!  And as hard as I try to forget you, I can’t. As hard as  I try to stop myself from talking to you or texting you first, I can’t. I know I shouldn’t have fallen for you since you’ll be gone in just 4 months, but I couldn’t help myself. You’re different, and I love that. Not your typical basketball player. I just want you, but I really don’t know what else to do. So please, make this all easier for me and tell me what YOU want so that I can go on with my life. 

To be honest, sometimes I wonder why guys lead girls on if they have no intention of catching them when they fall for them. Whatever you do, don’t mess with a girls feelings and let her believe that you actually like her. Most fucked up thing any male could do. Btw I hope “B” realizes what he’s missing out on and that he’s a douche bag. Fuck you.

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Isn’t it funny how just in a split second someone’s mood can go from happy to upset or from ecstatic to completely dreadful? I wish that everything that’s going on between my family gets resolved soon because I’m the one who’s stuck in the middle of all this. It sucks to know that everything that’s going on at the moment is all completely my fault and knowing that hurts SO much. Knowing that two people have a huge hatred for each other because of you is one of the worst feelings in the world and I don’t know how much longer i can bear this pain. I just want it all to be over and end. 

“Of course I am not referring to those outbursts of passion that drive us to do and say things we will later regret, that delude us into thinking we cannot live without a certain person, that set us quivering with anxiety at the mere possibility we might ever lose that person - a feeling that impoverishes rather than enriches us because we long to posses what we cannot, to hold on to what we cannot. No. I speak of a love that brings sight to the blind. Of a love stronger than fear. I speak of a love that breathes meaning into life, that defies the natural laws of deterioration, that causes us to flourish, that knows no bounds. I speak of the triumph of the human spirit over selfishness and death.”

Home alone and listening to grace potter & the nocturnals. What a lonely life I live…